This morning, the Australian reported that a senior person in the Defence Department has confessed that John Howard knew that the children overboard photos were a scam before the election was held. This morning Laurie Oakes was talking with Mr Howard...
Oakes: Mr Howard what do you know about the allegations by a senior member of DFAT that you lied about children overboard?
Howard: Well we are certain that he's a poo poo head
LO: I'm sorry?
JH: Yep. He's a schizophrenic too and he suffers delusions. I wonder which of his personalities talked to the Australian.
LO: Isn't that multiple personality disorder, not schizophrenia..
JH: Oh, don't give me that politically correct rubbish. The man's loony, out of his tree, two children overboard short of a boatload and that's all that matters.
LO: So you've worked out who the anonymous source is?
JH: Well it's hard to work out because every time we're close to catching him, he changes personalities. Or maybe ASIO have found him and they just haven't told me yet. They don't tell me much those guys.
LO: So you haven't found him yet?
JH: No, but we know he smokes cigarettes and he stole Mulder's sister for the aliens
LO: Mulder's sister? Isn't that the X Files?
JH: Don't give me that unAustralian politically correct rubbish Laurie
LO: But Mr How..
JH: He cheats on his wife too!
LO: Who?
JH: The Defence guy. He has an alcohol problem and he's on antidepressants.
LO: I thought you didn't know who he was?
JH: Look, are you with us or against us?
LO: I'm sorry?
JH: So you should be you unAustralian coward. Why aren't you in Iraq? Bloody ABC journos and their left wing bias
LO: Mr Howard, I'm with Channel Nine, we love the Liberal Party.
JH: You're all the same. You just like picking on me.
LO: Mr Howard, if we could just stick to the issue..
JH: The premise that children overboard was based on a lie is a lie in itself
LO: On what basis do you say that?
JH: The premise that children overboard was based on a lie is a lie in itself
LO: Mr Howard, do you think there's anyone left who actually believes you on that?
JH: Yes, Andrew Bolt does.
LO: Andrew Bolt?
JH: Yeah, he's great. Look! (Puts hand puppet on his hand and moves the mouth)
JH as AB: Mr Howard never lies. He's great. I love his combover.
JH: You can tell him anything. watch this (whispers in puppet's ear) ssssssss
JH as AB: Mr Howard loves Asian people. And he only abolished ATSIC because he cares about the niggers.
LO: Err, Mr Bolt, is that word appropriate?
JH as AB: Oh now don't give me that politcally correct rubbish.