Wahhayyy, we've gone absolutely crazy!
Picture Max Gillies dressed as John Howard, running around a used car caryard. In fact this is much funnier if you read it aloud in a hysterical John Howard voice...
Hi! I’m Craaaazy John from Craaaazy John’s Used Liberal Party Policies and down here in Canberra I’ve gone absolutely bonkers.
Take a look at GP bulk-billing. It was at EIGHTY PERCENT under the Labor Government....SLASHED to a ridiculously low SIXTY NINE PERCENT. There’s no way Australian families can afford that!
And take a look at this! Public schools this year at an already low 35% of our education funding a year, next year only a crazy 31%.
We’ve got 1990 model John Hewson GSTs CUT to 10%
Unfair dismissal laws DEREGULATED! Union membership DEREGULATED! University HECS fees DEREGULATED! so that Unis can now charge our kids ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT of what they were a year ago! That’s MASSIVE DEBT well into their middle age!
Telstra, dental health programs, the pill, permanent retirement… they’ve all got to go! And that’s a core promise!
And what about intelligence about the dangers of Bali, fabricated refugee photos and indications Iraq didn’t have WMDs? I wouldn’t hear of it! Literally. No one tells me anything.
And there’s no need to worry about the cost of oil for the environment anymore... We’re PUMPING it back into the ground. There’s no obligation to pay for our greed until 2025!
But wait there’s more! Vote for us in the next federal election and I promise to throw in hours of sucking up to America, lies about children overboard and unjustified wars!
You can’t get less fair than that for Australian families. And if you find a policy from One Nation or any of our competitors that is less fair, we promise to copy it!
So come on down to CraaAaAzy John’s Used Liberal Party Policies where we’ve gone absolutely craAaAzy!