Last week I thought I was watching an umpire sledging one of the players for the first time ever in international cricket. Warney waddled up to bowl and there was the ump yelling out “Wide”. Then I realised he was referring to the bowl, not Warney himself. And the Fat Brat, Waddling Whinging Warney turned around to the ump and told him to consult the rule book and went on and on about it for about a day. This is the same Warnus Pornus who was only recently saying that the umpire’s naked eye was the best thing for judging the chucking rule. But obviously not for judging the wide rule. It seems the Fat Brat is okay with the umpires when they are helping him get the world record off Murali, because heaven knows Warney’s not good enough to get it without them, but the rest of the time, he thinks Ian Healy should umpire both ends.