Possibly my favourite part of French culture is the way they greet each other. In Australia, when I arrive at a group of friends, I say hello, a few people pause to say hi and that’s that. In France however, I have to go around to each person and either shake their hand or kiss them on both cheeks. I really love the personal nature of this. You are actually taking the time to personally acknowledge each person and to make some sort of physical contact with them. I find that you feel closer to and more comfortable with people with this form of greeting. A barrier is immediately broken down when you make such a gesture.
In the parts of Noumea where I stayed, most of the girls did not follow the usual French tradition. They shake everyone’s hand instead of doing the kiss on both cheeks as the French do. I’m divided on that. It is less sexist to have the same form of greeting for a man as for a woman. Yet whoever the French guy was who decided he would kiss every woman he met ought to be congratulated. Get that man a New. It is absolutely fantastic the way you meet a French woman and she immediately comes and kisses you on both cheeks and the boyfriend is fine with it. I really love having that excuse to kiss beautiful women. As do the French guys. And the French women. (You see, the French are a lot easier-going about that sort of thing than us I think. To many Australian women, they might consider it sleazy that I get that little enjoyment out of a “platonic” double-cheek kiss, but to the French, this is just normal and acceptable).
Whenever I get back to Australia, I feel like there is a barrier between me and other friends, because I have grown used to the idea that if someone doesn’t come and greet me personally that they are ignoring me. Eventually I get used to it, but I don’t like it. Notably though, there seems to be change afoot in our culture. The hug greeting is becoming more and more common between male and female friends. This is quite a different tradition to the double kiss. The double kiss can have the connotation that I have already referred to, whereas hugs are always a much more platonic greeting. Hugs are just great big friendly greetings. Equally I find that hugs break down a barrier. I come from a very huggy family so I love to hug. I think hugging is great because they make you feel better and they are just so friendly.
Meanwhile between guys, close friends are beginning to greet with very macho handshakes and even the occasional backslap hug. This too is a good move, even if it is filtered through our culture’s ridiculous machism and homophobia. Maybe one day Australian culture will evolve towards the French idea of personally greeting each person. But with a hug or a macho handshake to give it an Australian feel. I’d like to see us go that way