You might be a Right winger if... (a response to Dr Guy)

Published on January 8, 2005 By Champas Socialist In Politics

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For many years Right wingers have been refusing to do things like wearing big silly hats with flashing neon signs proclaiming their Right wingedness. Instead they expect us to work it out by listening to their arguments. As a result, identification for the purpose of culling has been very difficult over the years. So, as a public service here are the early warning signs that reveal if you, or someone you care about, just might be a right winger.

You might be a right winger if.....

You think that if one person gets richer, everyone gets richer.

You believe that bigger profits leads to more jobs rather than more layoffs.

You think that dictating other people’s life choices will make your life better.

You think the world would be a better place if Government stopped interfering in everything (except marriage, abortion, censorship, drugs etc.)

You think AIDS is a homosexual disease.

You don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope).

You think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.

You think everything Michael Moore says is a lie, but you listen unquestioningly to Ann Coulter.

You think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left.

You think that when a journalist is asking a question that they are expressing their opinion.

You believe Fox News’ slogan.

You think that because you like Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice, you can’t be racist.

You think that the entire world wants to be like America.

You think that everyone should get behind Bush because he has won two elections and so is clearly the right man for the job.

You aren’t bothered by having a leader who gives fewer press conferences.

You think that everything of worth has a monetary value.

You deride people who quote John Pilger as part of the Loony Left, but believe Andrew Bolt can provide you all the info you need.

You think symbolism is a waste of time and don’t understand why people get pissed off at you about this.

When someone is upset/crying/depressed, you immediately start trying to find pragmatic solutions.

You think homosexuality is linked to paedophilia.

You think that a benevolent atheist is worse than a selfish Christian.

You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like.

You think that when 2/3 of the country refuses to cast a vote, you can get a mandate to whatever you want.

You live on a very comfortable income but you still whinge about paying tax.

You think that Michael Moore’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Andrew Bolt, Rush Limbaugh or John Laws.

You think Alan Jones is a good reasonable commentator.

You think destroying cross-media ownership laws will not destroy journalistic integrity because buyers will force the papers to maintain standards.

You think that small business owners would never unfairly exploit a relaxation of unfair dismissal laws.

You haven’t seen Fahrenheit 9/11, you don’t know anyone who has, but you have posted a long blog about Michael Moore’s distortions.

You start sentences with “I’m not a racist, but...”

You believe in encouraging greed as a motivation for betterment.

You’ve never read Das Kapital but you don’t think Communism works.

You think Stalin was a Marxist.

You think Nixon was America's only ever corrupt President.

You think Team America was a shot at the Left.

You tried pot at Uni and it didn’t affect you, but you’re still against it.

You’ve never tried pot but you believe it’s evil.

You’re against pot, but in favour of nicotine.

You think Universities make people smarter if each course is specifically targetted at churning people out, trained up for their jobs.

You think a BA is easy because it has fewer contact hours.

You think anyone who disagrees with Government policy is a traitor.

You think global warming is part of some conspiracy by evil tree-huggers to get us all to give up our CDs and TVs.

You believe in progress but you’ve never thought about what you’re progressing towards.

You believe in judging other cultures by your own objective standards.

You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestors.

You are more concerned about the sanctity of life than the quality of life.

You think the Koran, which you’ve never read, is a violent book, but the Old Testament is a justified, rational set of beliefs.

You are more concerned with the rights of unborn clumps of cells than living mothers.

You think that because America’s “founding fathers” were Christians, we should all continue to worship God.

You think it’s too much trouble to use an expression like “chairperson”.

You can’t understand why atheists make such a fuss about pledging allegiance to God but you get upset about secular Christmas songs.

You think Christmas is an exclusively Christian holiday.

You take the word of a biologist over a climatologist on global warming.

You consider yourself superior because you have a job.

You still believe in trickle down economics.

You think capitalism is working well, it’s the poor people who aren’t.

You think Communism has been tried (and failed).

Comments (Page 1)

drmiler

on Jan 09, 2005

You think that everyone should get behind Bush because he has won two elections and so is clearly the right man for the job.

If he won "2 elections" he must be doing *something* right!

You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestors

No we're not smarter but *why* should I say I'm sorry for something (1) That I did not do (2) something I had NO control over?

You think Communism has been tried and failed

It has been tried and failed. Tell me one place where it was tried and *succeded*

You’ve never read Das Kapital but you don’t think Communism works.

I have read it and still don't think communism works.

You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like.

51% is a mandate, but he doesn't get to do whatever he pleases. This tells me that you don't know everything about our system of government. I don't claim to know it all either however, I know enough to know he has to have congressional approval for anything major.

apdelong31

on Jan 09, 2005

I guess he's been right at scaring America. Everyone's scared, only 49% percent are scared for different reasons. Die-hard Bushies are scared into the "looming threat" of terrorist attacks and that Bush is the only man who could ever save the world, and liberals/democrats are scared because of what he has the potential to do to our homeland (not to mention the rest of the world community) in the next four years.

Great article.

Champas Socialist

on Jan 09, 2005

Thanks apdelong. Dr miller, you are as accidentally humorous as always. Btw, the "You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like." is a reference to Australia's politicians not the US. And the emphasis on "communism has been tried and failed" is on the "tried".

dabe

on Jan 09, 2005

If he won "2 elections" he must be doing *something* right!

And, that sure sums it up, doesn't it. The man without a brain.............................

Champas, great article. Absolutely. It sure does my heart good to see a good synopsis of what makes a republican conservative tick. Or, is that "tic"?

ParaTed2k

on Jan 09, 2005

...you got bored reading all the statements, so you just moved on to read the comments about it, then added one of your own. ;~D

stevendedalus

on Jan 09, 2005

Three

for courageous thinking, though some might be over the top.

Solnac

on Jan 09, 2005

51% is a mandate, but he doesn't get to do whatever he pleases. This tells me that you don't know everything about our system of government

Tells me YOU don't know everything about our system of government. He with the most electorial votes wins, not he who gets the most votes. *beats the dead horse somemore* If you'd acutally listen once in a while, the horse might not be so hashed.

Manopeace

on Jan 09, 2005

Whew... I guess I AM a liberal... Dr. Guy was right.

Champas Socialist

on Jan 09, 2005

Dabe, steve thanks. Manopeace, who would ever suggest you are a right winger?

Manopeace

on Jan 09, 2005

Manopeace, who would ever suggest you are a right winger?

I don't dare name that noble English twit on this blog

...hes accused me of everything else...why not that?

hitparade

on Jan 09, 2005

Andrew Bolt, Rush Limbaugh or John Laws. You think Alan Jones is a good reasonable commentator.

Except for Rush, I don't know any of the names here.

You think Stalin was a Marxist.

What was he then?

A mass murderer, who justified his acts as the outcome of the inevitable class struggle which is the heart of Marxism. No?

You start sentences with “I’m not a racist, but...”

I'm not a racist. My sentence ends after racist-- period!

You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestors.

I won't say sorry for something I didn't do. Demanding so is passive/aggressive projection. I was born into this world less than 40 years ago. How can I take blame or credit for anything that I was not a part of. Feeling bad by proxy or feeling good by proxy, either way, is folly.

BTW, amusing stuff...

Sir Peter Maxwell

on Jan 09, 2005

"I don't dare name that noble English twit on this blog..."

Moano I have never accused you of being a right-winger, any kind of talk is just nonsense. Why do you feel the need to mention me on totally unrelated blogs? You are an obsessive. Yes, we all know that you have been outed as gay, but I can only mock you for being a poofter so much.

shawnee89

on Jan 09, 2005

You don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope).

You think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.

You think everything Michael Moore says is a lie, but you listen unquestioningly to Ann Coulter.

You think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left

I see nothing wrong with those..in fact they are complements!!

drmiler

on Jan 09, 2005

Reply #8 By: Solnac - 1/9/2005 2:10:53 AM
51% is a mandate, but he doesn't get to do whatever he pleases. This tells me that you don't know everything about our system of government

Tells me YOU don't know everything about our system of government. He with the most electorial votes wins, not he who gets the most votes. *beats the dead horse somemore* If you'd acutally listen once in a while, the horse might not be so hashed.

I'll tell you what. You show me a case of where someone got 51% of the popular vote and didn't get the electoral vote and I'll quit beating the horse. But do not use the 2000 election.

shawnee89

on Jan 09, 2005

I don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope). 9Its OUR country NOT theirs)

I think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.

I think everything Michael Moore says is a lie, but I listen to Ann Coulter.

I think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left

I see nothing wrong with those..in fact they are complements!!

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