You might be a Right winger if... (a response to Dr Guy)

Published on January 8, 2005 By Champas Socialist In Politics

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For many years Right wingers have been refusing to do things like wearing big silly hats with flashing neon signs proclaiming their Right wingedness. Instead they expect us to work it out by listening to their arguments. As a result, identification for the purpose of culling has been very difficult over the years. So, as a public service here are the early warning signs that reveal if you, or someone you care about, just might be a right winger.

You might be a right winger if.....

You think that if one person gets richer, everyone gets richer.

You believe that bigger profits leads to more jobs rather than more layoffs.

You think that dictating other people’s life choices will make your life better.

You think the world would be a better place if Government stopped interfering in everything (except marriage, abortion, censorship, drugs etc.)

You think AIDS is a homosexual disease.

You don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope).

You think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.

You think everything Michael Moore says is a lie, but you listen unquestioningly to Ann Coulter.

You think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left.

You think that when a journalist is asking a question that they are expressing their opinion.

You believe Fox News’ slogan.

You think that because you like Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice, you can’t be racist.

You think that the entire world wants to be like America.

You think that everyone should get behind Bush because he has won two elections and so is clearly the right man for the job.

You aren’t bothered by having a leader who gives fewer press conferences.

You think that everything of worth has a monetary value.

You deride people who quote John Pilger as part of the Loony Left, but believe Andrew Bolt can provide you all the info you need.

You think symbolism is a waste of time and don’t understand why people get pissed off at you about this.

When someone is upset/crying/depressed, you immediately start trying to find pragmatic solutions.

You think homosexuality is linked to paedophilia.

You think that a benevolent atheist is worse than a selfish Christian.

You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like.

You think that when 2/3 of the country refuses to cast a vote, you can get a mandate to whatever you want.

You live on a very comfortable income but you still whinge about paying tax.

You think that Michael Moore’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Andrew Bolt, Rush Limbaugh or John Laws.

You think Alan Jones is a good reasonable commentator.

You think destroying cross-media ownership laws will not destroy journalistic integrity because buyers will force the papers to maintain standards.

You think that small business owners would never unfairly exploit a relaxation of unfair dismissal laws.

You haven’t seen Fahrenheit 9/11, you don’t know anyone who has, but you have posted a long blog about Michael Moore’s distortions.

You start sentences with “I’m not a racist, but...”

You believe in encouraging greed as a motivation for betterment.

You’ve never read Das Kapital but you don’t think Communism works.

You think Stalin was a Marxist.

You think Nixon was America's only ever corrupt President.

You think Team America was a shot at the Left.

You tried pot at Uni and it didn’t affect you, but you’re still against it.

You’ve never tried pot but you believe it’s evil.

You’re against pot, but in favour of nicotine.

You think Universities make people smarter if each course is specifically targetted at churning people out, trained up for their jobs.

You think a BA is easy because it has fewer contact hours.

You think anyone who disagrees with Government policy is a traitor.

You think global warming is part of some conspiracy by evil tree-huggers to get us all to give up our CDs and TVs.

You believe in progress but you’ve never thought about what you’re progressing towards.

You believe in judging other cultures by your own objective standards.

You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestors.

You are more concerned about the sanctity of life than the quality of life.

You think the Koran, which you’ve never read, is a violent book, but the Old Testament is a justified, rational set of beliefs.

You are more concerned with the rights of unborn clumps of cells than living mothers.

You think that because America’s “founding fathers” were Christians, we should all continue to worship God.

You think it’s too much trouble to use an expression like “chairperson”.

You can’t understand why atheists make such a fuss about pledging allegiance to God but you get upset about secular Christmas songs.

You think Christmas is an exclusively Christian holiday.

You take the word of a biologist over a climatologist on global warming.

You consider yourself superior because you have a job.

You still believe in trickle down economics.

You think capitalism is working well, it’s the poor people who aren’t.

You think Communism has been tried (and failed).

Comments (Page 2)

latour999

on Jan 09, 2005

I think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left

When I look south of the 49th, I see the US Democrats as the center-right. The Canadian Liberals are center-left. The Canadian New Democrats are left. The Bloc-heads are somewhere in between (left-center-left? or center-left left? or left left center?). Ted Kennedy doesn't even come near Jack Layton in leftiness.

Champas Socialist

on Jan 09, 2005

"You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like."

Okay it looks like I'm going to have to explain this line. John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia, on several occasions when his Party did not have a majority in the Senate, but did have a majority in the House of Representatives, complained about the Senate refusing to pass his legislation until he made certain alterations. He claimed that as they were the Government that the Australian people had given them a mandate to pass this legislation. This was not true. If he had a mandate from the people (which he now has now that he has a majority in the Senate) then he would have been able to pass the legislation, because our Senators were popularly elected.

As I wrote the comment though, I did have in the back of my mind comments by Bush about "political capital" and calls for the nation to unite behind Bush.

"I see nothing wrong with those..in fact they are complements!!"

What I find astonishing is that it's always the Right wingers going on about dropping literacy standards, yet on JU, it's the right wingers who can't spell. Sorry, I try not to resort to picking on this, but I really do like good spelling.
Evan, welcome. It will be good to have someone else as equally accidentally humorous as drmiler.

dabe

on Jan 09, 2005

What I find astonishing is that it's always the Right wingers going on about dropping literacy standards, yet on JU, it's the right wingers who can't spell. Sorry, I try not to resort to picking on this, but I really do like good spelling.

Errrrrr...........do you think it may be indicative of the level of education or literacy, and/or the lack thereof, and the conclusions that they reach?

*ducking and running..................

cactoblasta

on Jan 09, 2005

Except for Rush, I don't know any of the names here.

That might be because they're not Americans - they're all very influential conservative Australian media pundits.

sandy2

on Jan 09, 2005

Well, I tend to lack in the spelling department on JU, and the raeson for this is I type very fast and don't proof read... go figure.

Look.. right there. I speld reason raeson. Silly.

Starstuff

on Jan 10, 2005

You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestorsNo we're not smarter but *why* should I say I'm sorry for something (1) That I did not do (2) something I had NO control over?

Right On, Our respondsibilty is to see that it dose not happen again!

Starstuff

on Jan 10, 2005

You think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.

An armed society is a polite society.

cactoblasta

on Jan 10, 2005

An armed society is a polite society.

Really? Ever been in a bar full of armed people after 3am on a Saturday night? They don't seem so polite then.

drmiler

on Jan 10, 2005

Reply #23 By: cactoblasta - 1/10/2005 1:59:31 AM
An armed society is a polite society.

Really? Ever been in a bar full of armed people after 3am on a Saturday night? They don't seem so polite then.

And you have been to *how* many American bars after 3AM? I've done my fair share and have not seen what your talking about. Mostly I spend a few of my formative years as a very small band roadie. Maybe it's different in Austrailia or is it Canada? Just can't seem to remember.

RagnarokMPH

on Jan 10, 2005

I don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope). 9Its OUR country NOT theirs)

Afghanistan was the Taliban's country, and they sheltered bin Laden and al Qaida. So you're either saying we shouldn't have had a say in THEIR policy or you're a hypocrit.

You think the Koran, which you’ve never read, is a violent book, but the Old Testament is a justified, rational set of beliefs.

I absolutly LOVE that one!

Champas Socialist

on Jan 10, 2005

"An armed society is a polite society."
This line was funny.
"Really? Ever been in a bar full of armed people after 3am on a Saturday night? They don't seem so polite then."
So was this.
"And you have been to *how* many American bars after 3AM? I've done my fair share and have not seen what your talking about. Mostly I spend a few of my formative years as a very small band roadie. Maybe it's different in Austrailia or is it Canada? Just can't seem to remember."
This was just drmiler's usual inability to laugh.

Sandy2, it's great to see you back. I hadn't realised you'd unretired!

"I absolutly LOVE that one!"

Thanks ragnarok!

O G San

on Jan 10, 2005

Great stuff, Champas.

You're quite right to bemoan the abysmal level of spelling on this site as well.

drmiler

on Jan 10, 2005

Reply #26 By: Champas Socialist - 1/10/2005 7:44:58 AM
"An armed society is a polite society."
This line was funny.
"Really? Ever been in a bar full of armed people after 3am on a Saturday night? They don't seem so polite then."
So was this.
"And you have been to *how* many American bars after 3AM? I've done my fair share and have not seen what your talking about. Mostly I spend a few of my formative years as a very small band roadie. Maybe it's different in Austrailia or is it Canada? Just can't seem to remember."
This was just drmiler's usual inability to laugh.

Sandy2, it's great to see you back. I hadn't realised you'd unretired!

"I absolutly LOVE that one!"

Thanks ragnarok!

That's were you show you don't know me at all. I can laugh and have done so on this board.I just didn't find his comments funny.

jeblackstar

on Jan 10, 2005

It has been tried and failed. Tell me one place where it was tried and *succeded*

China, Vietnam, most tribal cultures, Nicaragua before the American led coup, Yugoslavia.

Never mind that none of those are actually communist in the way described by Karl Marx, which of course just proves another one of the points.

Cheers

jeblackstar

on Jan 10, 2005

You think Stalin was a Marxist.

What was he then?

Stalin was a Stalinist, though he claimed he was a Leninist-Stalinist to give himself some credibility. Believe it or not, Stalin's main philosophy was, he who has the most power, wins.

Cheers

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