A champagne socialist reflects on Western culture and the Universe... and whilst gazing at his navel, he comes up with a lot of useless lint. It is the fruits of this navel-gazing that form the substance of this blog.
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For many years Right wingers have been refusing to do things like wearing big silly hats with flashing neon signs proclaiming their Right wingedness. Instead they expect us to work it out by listening to their arguments. As a result, identification for the purpose of culling has been very difficult over the years. So, as a public service here are the early warning signs that reveal if you, or someone you care about, just might be a right winger.

You might be a right winger if.....

You think that if one person gets richer, everyone gets richer.

You believe that bigger profits leads to more jobs rather than more layoffs.

You think that dictating other people’s life choices will make your life better.

You think the world would be a better place if Government stopped interfering in everything (except marriage, abortion, censorship, drugs etc.)

You think AIDS is a homosexual disease.

You don’t think Europeans should have any say in US policy (except the Pope).

You think that if everyone has guns, we will all be safer.

You think everything Michael Moore says is a lie, but you listen unquestioningly to Ann Coulter.

You think the US Democrats and the ALP are Left.

You think that when a journalist is asking a question that they are expressing their opinion.

You believe Fox News’ slogan.

You think that because you like Colin Powell and Condoleeza Rice, you can’t be racist.

You think that the entire world wants to be like America.

You think that everyone should get behind Bush because he has won two elections and so is clearly the right man for the job.

You aren’t bothered by having a leader who gives fewer press conferences.

You think that everything of worth has a monetary value.

You deride people who quote John Pilger as part of the Loony Left, but believe Andrew Bolt can provide you all the info you need.

You think symbolism is a waste of time and don’t understand why people get pissed off at you about this.

When someone is upset/crying/depressed, you immediately start trying to find pragmatic solutions.

You think homosexuality is linked to paedophilia.

You think that a benevolent atheist is worse than a selfish Christian.

You think that 51% of the vote gives you a mandate to whatever you like.

You think that when 2/3 of the country refuses to cast a vote, you can get a mandate to whatever you want.

You live on a very comfortable income but you still whinge about paying tax.

You think that Michael Moore’s listeners are mindless “dittoheads,” but you have never doubted anything that you heard from Andrew Bolt, Rush Limbaugh or John Laws.

You think Alan Jones is a good reasonable commentator.

You think destroying cross-media ownership laws will not destroy journalistic integrity because buyers will force the papers to maintain standards.

You think that small business owners would never unfairly exploit a relaxation of unfair dismissal laws.

You haven’t seen Fahrenheit 9/11, you don’t know anyone who has, but you have posted a long blog about Michael Moore’s distortions.

You start sentences with “I’m not a racist, but...”

You believe in encouraging greed as a motivation for betterment.

You’ve never read Das Kapital but you don’t think Communism works.

You think Stalin was a Marxist.

You think Nixon was America's only ever corrupt President.

You think Team America was a shot at the Left.

You tried pot at Uni and it didn’t affect you, but you’re still against it.

You’ve never tried pot but you believe it’s evil.

You’re against pot, but in favour of nicotine.

You think Universities make people smarter if each course is specifically targetted at churning people out, trained up for their jobs.

You think a BA is easy because it has fewer contact hours.

You think anyone who disagrees with Government policy is a traitor.

You think global warming is part of some conspiracy by evil tree-huggers to get us all to give up our CDs and TVs.

You believe in progress but you’ve never thought about what you’re progressing towards.

You believe in judging other cultures by your own objective standards.

You think white people are smart for inventing the wheel, but won’t say sorry for injustices created by your ancestors.

You are more concerned about the sanctity of life than the quality of life.

You think the Koran, which you’ve never read, is a violent book, but the Old Testament is a justified, rational set of beliefs.

You are more concerned with the rights of unborn clumps of cells than living mothers.

You think that because America’s “founding fathers” were Christians, we should all continue to worship God.

You think it’s too much trouble to use an expression like “chairperson”.

You can’t understand why atheists make such a fuss about pledging allegiance to God but you get upset about secular Christmas songs.

You think Christmas is an exclusively Christian holiday.

You take the word of a biologist over a climatologist on global warming.

You consider yourself superior because you have a job.

You still believe in trickle down economics.

You think capitalism is working well, it’s the poor people who aren’t.

You think Communism has been tried (and failed).

Comments (Page 3)
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on Jan 10, 2005
You think Stalin was a Marxist.


Excellent! I've been preaching this one for years. Stalin was only a nominal Marxist. Just like Castro.

You consider yourself superior because you have a job.


And more superior the more that job pays.

You think capitalism is working well, it’s the poor people who aren’t.

You think Communism has been tried (and failed).


True Marxism hasn't ever been tried. Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot, Castro -- they are all failed socialists, socialists of convienence, or corruptors of Marxism.
on Jan 10, 2005

Champas,

I am honored!  Thank you for mentioning me.  My only comment is that I would have only done one option on the Pot.  You gave us too many choices!  !

on Jan 10, 2005
Excellent piece, champas. Even though I disagree with portions of it, I appreciate its humor.
on Jan 10, 2005
I'll tell you what. You show me a case of where someone got 51% of the popular vote and didn't get the electoral vote and I'll quit beating the horse. But do not use the 2000 election.


Can't do it with 51% and the electoral college, but Grover Cleveland did get the most popular votes in 1888 but lost the electoral college by a landslide.

Also, the way our government is set up (with the three branches) it's hard to determine "mandates." What if the President gets in with 51% but Congress is ruled by the opposing party--is that still an electoral mandate? I wouldn't think so.

Champas--interesting article. I love how people don't get the Communism comment--no one understands it when I make it either.
on Jan 10, 2005
Well... about communism... there are communist states in India, though I am not entirely familiar with them so I can't talk about them with a great deal of certainty, but it seems to work there. Then again, it is a democracy.
on Jan 10, 2005

Of course, in the truest form, Communism is also a Democracy.  That's the number one hint that Communism hasn't been tried successfully on a nationwide scale, because none of the so-called Communist States were really democracies.  Of course, neither is the United States nor India, but that's a civics lesson for another time.


Cheers

on Jan 10, 2005

Reply #29 By: jeblackstar - 1/10/2005 2:56:18 PM
It has been tried and failed. Tell me one place where it was tried and *succeded*



China, Vietnam, most tribal cultures, Nicaragua before the American led coup, Yugoslavia.


I believe that if you actually talked to people from these countries they would argue with your line of thinking.


on Jan 10, 2005

Reply #36 By: jeblackstar - 1/10/2005 4:11:13 PM
Of course, in the truest form, Communism is also a Democracy. That's the number one hint that Communism hasn't been tried successfully on a nationwide scale, because none of the so-called Communist States were really democracies. Of course, neither is the United States nor India, but that's a civics lesson for another time.


Cheers


So from what your saying is that communism has NOT been truly tried.
on Jan 10, 2005

Yes, I am, but I was allowing your flawed reasoning to carry on to illustrate how flawed it really was.  Wasn't that nice of me?

Oh, and it's You're not your.


Cheers

on Jan 10, 2005

Champas,

Sorry this has degraded into a political debate.  next time put it under Humor so people wont be so serious with it.

I thought it was clever and I liked it!  But if we here in the states cant call the Democrats liberal, is there anyone here that is?

on Jan 10, 2005
Dr Guy, Myrrander, Gideon, shadesofgrey, je black, OG San, thanks. There is of course some hyperbole in the article. I thought I would try a new style ;>
Dr Guy, I'm not too bothered really about the debate, it gets me points ;>
shades, it's nice to see though that perhaps that point is starting to get across in this forum.
on Jan 10, 2005
'll tell you what. You show me a case of where someone got 51% of the popular vote and didn't get the electoral vote and I'll quit beating the horse. But do not use the 2000 election.


I won't even have to. Link

Synopsis: in 1876, Rutherford B. Hayes won the election by 1 electoral vote, and did not have the pouplar vote. Sure, tell me that's digging too deep and I'm extreme. But you did ask for an example, here it is.
on Jan 10, 2005
Bush and Bin Ladin The wanton boys.
on Jan 16, 2005
you are a nutcase with the sort of bigoted, closed not to mention naive views on social issues that im sure you yourself find repugnant. i would love to know what gives europeans a right to interfere in us politics when it is not so long ago that millions of americans fought to give them the right to interfere in their own political systems? im sure that you posted this message to get a rise out of people like me...normal people... which you have succeeded in doing so well done. this must be the reason for doing it because it has no intellectual merit whatsoever. and just for the record Kofi annan, michael moore and john kerry all touch kids.
x x x x x x
on Jan 16, 2005
Synopsis: in 1876, Rutherford B. Hayes won the election by 1 electoral vote, and did not have the pouplar vote. Sure, tell me that's digging too deep and I'm extreme. But you did ask for an example, here it is.


that's not the entire story, in the election itself Tilden had captured 184 electoral votes to Hayes 165 with 20 votes in dispute. One Oregon elector was questioned on a technicality, while the states of LA, SC and FL were too close to call. There was nothing in the Constitution to settle disputed elections. Since the VP had died some believed the President of the Senate should decide, while others thought it should be the Supreme Court. Some Southern Democrats tried to use future President James Garfield to broker a deal for a Republican victory if Hayes would commit to better treatment of the South. Hayes remained non commital. Tilden was hurt by the fact he remained silent on the subject and did not demand that the winner of the popular vote 51-48 % should win. In the end an election commission of 15 members who included five members of the Democratic controlled house (3 Dem, 2 Rep), five members of Republican controlled senate (3 Rep, 2 Dem) and 5 members of the Supreme Court based on region and another selected by the members. The Supreme Court had 2 Reps, 2 Dems and an independent David Davis. Behind the scenes, a 3rd Party and Democratic coalition in the Illinois state legislature had elected Davis to the Senate, which they thought would entice Davis to treat Tilden favorably. It backfired as Davis resigned from the commission and a Grant Republican from the Supreme Court was asked to take his place. The commission met in February and voted 8-7 along party lines. The Democrats threatened filibuster in the Senate, but that was averted. The house rejected the findings of the commission. The senate approved it and along with the Electoral Commission Act had determined the commissions findings were law. Congress met in session until 4:10 am on March 2, just three days before the inauguration (the Constitution of the time put the inaugeration in March instead of January as it is now). Hayes received all 20 disputed electoral votes and the Presidency. Historians believe that Hayes may have come out of the hearings with the Presidency because of the deal to remove troops from the South, which he did ending reconstruction.
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